Logical Levels And Rapport - by Steve Crabb

 

I have heard rapport described in many ways, “Trust and Harmony in a relationship”, “A relationship based on mutual trust and understanding”,  “Building trust, harmony and responsiveness in a relationship”. So trust and relationship seem to be common denominators according to definitions - but how do we know when we trust and in relationship to what?

 

Rapport operates on a number of levels and not just consciously or unconsciously. It operates in our environment. We have rapport with others who behave the same as us, and we have rapport with people with similar capabilities. We also have rapport with people who hold similar beliefs and values. Perhaps the ultimate rapport is when we have rapport with our own Identity ; who we perceive ourselves to be.

 

 

Logical Levels is an NLP technique developed by Robert Dilts based upon Gregory Batesons’s work in 1964 (Logical Categories of Learning and Communication). I invite you to consider Rapport and how it operates at these levels.

 

Whilst waiting around for a female friend I had met for lunch I realised I was out of rapport with my environment. I was standing next to a counter in a ladies clothes shop looking a bit out of place, waiting for my friend to buy something which she just had to try on. Let's say I felt out of harmony with my surroundings.

 

After lunch I tried an experiment. I asked if she minded if we just popped into “Maplins” the electrical shop because I needed a USB cable for my computer. As soon as we stepped into the store her whole physiology was different to what I had observed in the clothes shop. I was more relaxed - she wasn’t. It was not that we didn’t trust our environment (whatever trust means!) - but at some levels we had different sorting processes for rapport in our environment.

 

Remember a pleasant time when you have been to a restaurant, an event, a bar or club when you felt in harmony with your surroundings. Then compare this to a time when you were at a similar event when you did not feel at home. What was the difference?

Was it the environment, the colours, the sounds, the people, the smells?  Probably there is far too much information to sort through to identify with any certainty what the difference really was, but at an unconscious level you will know the difference. The unconscious is constantly checking and assessing information to see if we can trust and if we are in harmony. If we can trust and we are in harmony then things are okay. If we can't trust and we aren't in harmony then we might have a problem. There might be a threat to our well-being, so we get a signal that something is not right. That's when we feel out of rapport.

 

There was an experiment conducted by social researchers in which a large smartly dressed man went up and down in a lift carrying a large bundle of books, folders and a drink with a plastic lid on it (so you couldn’t see the contents of it). As people walked into the lift he smiled and asked them politely if they would just hold the drink which they did, he then straightened out the bundle of books and folders, took his drink back and politely said “Thank You”.

 

When the passenger in the lift got out they were asked by the researchers if they would be willing to answer a question about the man in the lift. The question was, “what was your opinion of him?”

 

Some of the comments about the man were positive some were negative. Some liked him some didn’t. What was interesting about the research was that there was a direct relationship between the temperature of the drink and the opinion formed by the passenger. If the drink was warm he was nice, if the drink was cold he was not trustworthy.

 

If we are influenced so easily by things in our environment to the extent that the temperature of a drink can sway our opinion about a stranger, then it is worth taking a moment to consider where else we can either influence or be influenced.

 

After reading about that experiment I made a number of changes to the way I deal with clients in my private practice. Here are just some of the things I ensure are consistent each and every time I work with someone, and wish to gain rapport quickly and easily.

 

Offer a warm drink

Have pleasing colours in the room and on literature,

Have pleasant harmonious pictures in the room and on literature

Have pleasant aromas,

Play relaxing music

 

Dress smartly ( meet expectations),

Match & Mirror (tonality, physiology if appropriate,  voice volume, predicates etc). Remember you pace so that you can lead.

Be calm and confident

 

Have literature, articles showing examples of success

Put up certificates

Display testimonials and photos of me with celebrity clients

Testimonials from clients

 

With these 3 levels addressed I have found clients are more trusting, that we are in harmony quicker, and that other rapport techniques such as matching & mirroring are more effective.

 

Look around you and begin to notice where there are examples of rapport at each of the different logical levels.

 

Begin to notice where there are examples of lack of rapport at each logical level.

 

Begin to notice rapport or lack of it and compare for individuals and groups,

 

You may be surprised as you begin to notice rapport operating at different levels just what you do notice.