How to Win Games and Influence Dolphins - by Michael Neill

In her wonderful book "Don't Shoot the Dog", dolphin trainer Karen Pryor tells the story of how the field of animal training had to evolve when it came to working with dolphins. Unlike humans, dogs, or most any other animal in the world, dolphins will not respond in any way, shape, or form to negative reinforcement.

 

Smack a dog on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and he'll learn not to jump; smack a dolphin on the nose with the same newspaper and you'll wind up with a pissed off dolphin and a wet newspaper.

 

Instead, Pryor and her fellow trainers learned to reward the dolphins with smiles, whistles, and fish, gradually increasing the challenge and difficulty of the tasks the dolphins needed to do to get their next reward. Soon, they not only had the dolphins jumping through hoops, they had them exhibiting entirely new behaviors never before seen in the species, all in pursuit of the next reward - a smile from the trainer, a blow on a whistle, and a simple piece of fish.

 

In my experience as a trainer and coach of people, I have found the same sort of graduated positive reinforcement works wonders, but for most of us, a dangling bit of sushi just doesn't cut it as the reward. What makes human beings jump through hoops and exhibit entirely new behaviors never before seen in the species is the experience of "winning" - of succeeding at what it is we are setting out to do.

 

When Wyatt Woodsmall, Anthony Robbins, and the other NLP modelers went in to the US army and promised to "increase their results in half the time", they were given control of the basic pistol shooting training: a 4-day training with a 70% success rate.

 

Knowing that for most people, the biggest fish is a feeling of winning, Robbins, Woodsmall, and their crew took two simple actions. First, they removed any guns that didn't shoot one hundred percent straight - experienced marksmen can adjust for slight discrepancies, but beginners just miss the target. Second, they started with the targets at 1/4 of the distance they would be for the final exams.

 

When the trainee soldiers could hit the targets consistently, they were moved back to 1/2 distance, 3/4 distance, and finally full target distance. The result? 1 1/2 days later, 100% of trainees passed the course - a 30% improvement in less than half the time!

 

So how do you set up your games so you can win and enjoy the "fish" of positive reinforcement?

 

 

1. Acknowledge "Wins" Wherever You Find Them

 

Strange as it may seem, many of us are not used to counting something as a win unless we notice someone else losing. "Winning" in the sense I am using it here is unique to the individual - it is anything that feels like success, be that the signature on an order form or the smile of approval of a loved one, boss, or friend.

 

You can increase your skill at recognizing wins by first identifying what games you (or the person you are trying to motivate) are playing. You can then work out what would constitute a win in each game.

 

For example if the game you are playing is selling a product or service, some possible wins include getting a hot lead, enrolling a new client, or making a sale. If you're playing the weight loss game, those wins can include saying "no" to a piece of chocolate cake, knocking a few numbers off the scale, or fitting in to a new (or old!) item of clothing.

 

 

2. Start Winning as Soon as Possible

 

One piece of advice I was given when struggling to take on an overfull garage was to completely clear one corner first - the energy that came from seeing one clean part of the room fuelled my efforts to take on the next bit. I have since found the same to be true in many areas of my life - the faster I achieve my initial success, the more motivated I am to take things to the next level.

 

If you're in sales, this might mean starting the day with the client or clients you feel are most likely to respond favorably to your requests; if you're a writer, it could mean beginning with the easiest chapter first.

 

Remember the lesson of the pistol shooters - if you get in the habit of succeeding when it's easy, you'll be able to do it again and again and again, even as the stakes go higher and higher.

 

 

3. Sharing "unearned" Fish

 

Another peculiarity of working with dolphins is that when the task they were being asked to perform seemed too difficult (i.e. there was too long a gap between fish), they would give up with a strange snorting sound that is reported to have sounded suspiciously like "@#$%* off!" :-)

 

What the trainers found was that by occasionally throwing the dolphin an "unearned fish", (i.e. without waiting for the successful completion of the desired outcome), the dolphin would continue to play until succeeding.

 

For those of us who manage or lead human beings, it can be useful to keep an eye on when people are becoming demoralized and preempt their giving up by sharing an "unearned fish" - i.e. setting up an easy win or giving them a share in your victory, even if they haven't yet "earned" it.

 

Have fun, learn heaps, and play to win!

Michael Neill is an internationally renowned success coach and the best-selling author of You Can Have What You Want, Feel Happy Now! and the Effortless Success audio program. He has spent the past 18 years as a coach, adviser, friend, mentor and creative spark plug to celebrities, CEOs, royalty, and people who want to get more out of their lives.  He hosts a weekly talk show on HayHouseRadio.com, and his daily and weekly coaching columns can be read on his website at www.geniuscatalyst.com.