NLP Life Training - 10 Years

Of Facebook And Prophets - by Matt Wingett

Matt Wingett relates a metaphor of how, in the internet age, those unexpected anchors can take you to places you'd long forgotten - and not always for the best.

by Matthew Wingett
Editor, NLP LIFE

I'm sure it's a scene familiar to millions.  You're on facebook when you are approached by someone from your past who you had long forgotten - and which you hadn't been reminded of.
You see their name, and think back to how you knew them.  Maybe you  were at school together, and you hadn't got on so well. Maybe that other person was annoying, or rude. Maybe they stole your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Maybe they even bullied you.
These are all memories that you had long forgotten, and now, suddenly, maybe decades later, they pop up on facebook, perhaps oblivious to the past, or with a completely different recollection of it.  They've got a sunny smile, are married and have two kids, you read.  Or they are diamond dealers in South Africa, or have become the president of a Developing World republic. It's fascinating to see how you produce such powerful feelings of frustration – and all that sense of helplessness and annoyance comes straight back at you, through your computer screen.
It's  a fascinating example of seeing anchoring in action  Actually this person now may be someone with plenty to give, and plenty to share.  But in your mindthey are anchored with a whole series of very unhelpful emotions.
Do you renew the acquaintance?  What would the purpose be?  Are you curious to know what has happened to them?
Well, there's no straight answer.  It's your call.  Just think a little.  Where do you want to go? What sort of person do you want to be?  
The hypnotist Paul McKenna tells a story about how he changes his phone once a year, and does a merciless purge of his phone numbers whenever he does.  It's a means of reminding yourself that you are heading into your future, and you can leave the useless parts of your past behind you.
Because while you may have changed, the people in your past may not have done.
It's for this reason that the old phrase “a prophet isn't recognised in his own country” is so true. Imagine a scene in the Middle East - a changed man, after years of contemplation in the wilderness, comes back to his village.  He has plenty to say and such amazing new insights to give.
But as he walks into the village, filled with his new love, his new knowledge, his new world, the gtown man who was the old school bully shouts out - “Hey look, it's the boy who fell in the mud that time and looked such an idiot..!"

Like I say, it's your call to do with old "friends".  But sometimes, whether it's an old friend, or an old memory come back to haunt you - it's time to move on and get aimed square at your future, instead of opening a whole can of worms from the past!


Matt Wingett is a freelance writer and editor of NLP. His free eBook, The Tube Healer, can be download here: 


Find out more about getting in control of your future - and about metaphors, at our NLP training courses

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