As the new school terms start, many kids feel anxious about moving to new schools and all the changes that will entail. Sue Atkins gives clear advice on smoothing the transition to "big school", and shows you how to get your kids to recognise the opportunities and chances that lie ahead.
Sue Atkins, Positive Parenting
Children are about to move onto secondary schools. Perhaps your child is one of them. This is a time of great change for a child and for the family as a whole as this transition is a time of growth, learning and independence. Children naturally have mixed feelings about this change.
"I was scared that I might not make any friends and that I'd get bullied, though I was excited too because it was such a big step in my life." - Chris aged 11
Children worry about getting lost, as the school is much bigger and looks like a maze of endless corridors with thousands of people, or they worry about not fitting in, or having the mickey taken out of them if they don't like sports or other group activities. They worry about their physical appearance, their spelling, their journey - the list seems endless.
Try asking your child these 3 questions:
· What is the best thing about your old school?
· What is the most useful skill you can take from your old to your new school?
· What are the scariest and most exciting things about your new school?
Talking through issues and concerns with your child builds their confidence and gives them support in coping with the practical and emotional worries they may be experiencing.
Many larger schools have their own web-sites, and many of the questions that come up can be found on them. You can find out about school trips, sports fixtures, homework expectations, and the choice of clubs on offer, which can all help alleviate the uncertainty. As moving schools can be a stressful time, don't be surprised if your child loses their temper or gets irritable more often. They may start to argue with you over trivial things like their school uniform, packed lunch or pencil case. Remember, as a parent to keep your mind on the bigger picture of supporting your child through these changes and be patient with them.
Ten Top Tips for Kids.
1. Make sure you are organised - then life for everyone is much easier.
2. Never be afraid to ask for help, or talk to someone you trust, like your mum or dad, or tutor.
3. Always make the first effort to make new friends - it helps you move through change easier, as everyone is in the same boat.
4. First impressions last a long time, so make sure yours are good ones - for organisation, presentation, and behaviour! This is your chance to make a fresh start - embrace it and make the most of all the new opportunities. Try out clubs and activities. You will make new friends.
Feel the fear - and do it anyway!
5. Make notes and write down anything you need to remember.
6. Behave in a way that won't get you noticed too quickly.
7. Find out the layout of the school, and learn where your classrooms are (and the toilets!)
8. Find out your timetable, and remember it! Find out what time you need to be at school, and what time you need to go home!
9. Find out what uniform you need, and what to bring in or wear for sport.
10. And finally... find out where the drinks and sweet machines are (get your priorities right!)
Remember, secondary school isn't a 'wild jungle', more like a 'human zoo', with lots of interesting animals. The zookeepers are there to help you, not just to contain you. As parents it's important to see this experience as something positive- if you are upbeat, so are your children.
Remember Positive Parents = Confident Kids!
Sue Atkins is a Parent Coach and Author of "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the famous black and yellow series and mother of two teenage children. She has written many books on self esteem, toddlers and teenagers and has a collection of Parenting Made Easy Toolkits available from her website. To find out more about her work and to receive her free monthly newsletter packed full of practical tips and helpful advice for bringing up happy, confident, well-balanced children go to => http:/www.positive-parents.com
Discover how to build your kid's confidence, ask exactly the right questions to help your child to change for good, and turn big fears into small jokes, on Richard Bandler's NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner courses. For more information, click here, now!